Child #1 has been having a tough year. There have been stretches of time when he has been at home, sometimes alone, sometimes with his girlfriend; but generally periods where I wonder if I should be doing more to engage him in meaningful activity. So sometimes, I resort to old mommy ideas of bringing the kids out to the park, or the zoo, or swimming - just out. These suggestions are often met with, "Nah, I'll just stay at home." So imagine my bittersweet delight when he comes down to the living room today and announces, "Mom, where are my swim shorts?" Turns out that he is finally going to the waterpark that I suggested a few months ago. This time, however, he is going with his girlfriend. Neither I nor his brother are invited. So although none of this comes as a surprise to me, I am suddenly saddened by the reality of not being first choice with my firstborn. It sort of feels like being chosen last to join the team which you started in the first place.
I dig out his swim shorts (my husband's because he's outgrown his own) and tell him to bring sunblock. Then I make a cup of coffee and let go...
Here's what the much more lyrical Khalil Gibran had to say...
On Children by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
